Welcome Jolene, let's jump right in with our interview
How did your writing
journey start?
Writing is something I’ve always enjoyed. For years, I assumed
everybody liked it, too. I couldn’t figure out why people assigned writing
tasks to me. I was constantly appointed secretary of committees I was on, asked
to write curriculum at school, and asked to write plays for church. Until I
realized my ability to write was a gift, I thought the other people around me
were lazy!
I started writing intentionally when my kids were young. My
father was in a nursing home, his mind and body ravaged by a long struggle with
multiple sclerosis. I wanted my kids to know more about Dad, so I started
writing stories about growing up with him. People read the stories and started
suggesting I try to publish them. I finally went to a writing conference,
hoping an editor would say the stories weren’t publication quality, so people
would quit bugging me. Instead, the editor said I should try to get them
published.
The book about Dad still hasn’t been published, and maybe it
never will be. But writing it served several important purposes. The book
showed Dad to my children in a new light. Writing that book made me take
writing seriously for the first time. And the discussion with the editor I led
to the publication of Different Dream
Parenting: A Practical Guide to Raising a Child with Special Needs
(Discovery House Publishers, 2011)
What was the inspiration
(motivation) behind the book? (Why did you write the book?)
Our son was born in 1982 with a life-threatening birth defect. He
was life-flighted to a hospital 750 miles away and had surgery before he was a
day old. Over the next 5 years he had 7 more surgeries. I had so many questions
about why God allowed this to happen, but couldn’t find books to answer them.
Over the next twenty years, even after the surgeries and medical procedures
that corrected our son’s condition were over, my search for parenting resources
yielded scant results. Eventually, I sensed God nudging me to come alongside
young parents by writing a book to answer their questions.
What would be your number
1 piece of advice for any parent go through a medical situation with their
child, whether it be a chronic condition, a syndrome, cancer, or something
else?
I advise them to step back and keep things in perspective. The
situation you are in may not what you expected, but just because it's different
doesn't mean it is inherently wrong or bad. It is different and will require an
adjustment period, a great deal of education, and learning to become an
effective advocate, but the situation can be positive. You can and will adjust
to the different dream of your child's life. It is the life your child has been
given and the life your child knows. Your attitude will greatly influence your
child's perception of that life. If your attitude is one of thankfulness, hope,
and peace, your child's will be much more like that too. If you're having
trouble maintaining a good attitude, look for parents of kids with special
needs who have hope and perseverance. Create a support network to encourage and
embrace you. No way should you be Lone Ranger parents!
What do you hope this book
accomplishes?
First, I hope it answers the faith questions parents wrestle with
when their children are suffering. And I hope it helps them realize they are
not alone. There are many families like theirs in the world, and many people
ready to support and encourage them.
Who (or what) is your greatest encourager when you write and why?
My husband Hiram is my number one encourager. He’s a nurse and
frequently sees families who need resources and support. I’m not sure which one
of us was more excited when we realized it was financially feasible for me to
leave teaching to write and speak full time.
Upcoming events?
A time management workshop I created for parents of kids with
special needs has proven to be very popular. I’ll be presenting it at the Iowa
Foster and Adoptive Parent Association (IFAPA) annual conference
(http://www.ifapa.org/training/ifapa_conference.asp) in March of 2013 and again
at the 2013 Accessibility Conference
(http://mbctysons.org/pages/page.asp?page_id=95386) in McLean, Virginia in
April.
Any tips for upcoming
authors?
First, take yourself seriously as an author. Call yourself a
writer even if the words stick in your throat at first. Until you consider
yourself an author, no one else will. Second, learn about your craft. Read
books about writing. Join a writers’ critique group, online or in person.
Third, attend conferences that offer writing workshops. You’ll learn more about
writing and make connections with other writers and professionals in the field.
Fourth, dedicate some time each day for writing and just do it. Finally,
continually ask God for guidance. His answers may come slower than you like,
but they will come. While you wait, keep writing. Because the waiting time
isn’t waiting at all. It’s preparation for opportunities God has in store for
you. Use your waiting time well.
How can readers connect with
you?
They can visit www.DifferentDream.com where I blog about
special needs parenting every weekday. Or visit www.jolenephilo.com
where I blog about life along our little gravel road, share recipes, and
whatever else comes to mind.
Other places to find me are:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/jolenephilo
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/jolenephilo/
What genre is your book?
It’s a non-fiction parenting book.
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